MRI’s and maudlin notions…

September 23, 2010

I had an MRI on my wrist on Monday and heard the results this afternoon.  Tear in the scapholunate ligament.  Apparently the ligaments in the wrist are named after the bones they connect, and this particular ligament joins the scaphoid and lunate bones (carpals) of my right wrist.

I’m trying not to panic.  I’m in school, and the last thing I need to hear is that I need surgery on my wrist to repair the tear.  I won’t know all the details until my follow up appointment on the 4th of October, yet my mind is already racing.  It will be hard not to google all the ways in which I should be concerned, and my most sincere hope is that I can stay centered throughout this process and *know* that my goal of getting through hair design school without any major hiccups will be feasible.

Did I mention I’m trying not to freak?

This is my precious right hand.  My intricately executed and beautifully designed right hand.  I don’t doubt that it has been seriously comprimised by two falls.  Ever watch those slow motion videos of people running on treadmills?  Notice how it seems impossible that their knees and ankles can take such impact?  Yeah.  I guess my wrist is pretty damn miraculous for being in one piece *at all* after several falls.

Good lord.  This is not what I need or want.  I’m feeling kind of sorry for myself (hence the title bit, ‘maudlin notions’), and I just don’t get it.  Like Lee said, perhaps there is nothing ‘to get’.  It just happened, and now it just needs to be fixed.

Fortunately for me, I’m way ahead for my quilt show in January, and I think and hope and pray that I can find a way to continue with school, sans interruption.  I just don’t know how that picture looks just yet, and waiting is not my strong suit.

Wish me luck… Wish me the courage not to expect the worst.  Let me be like the water and flow around the obstacle(s) that seem to be in my path.  Fluid and formless.  Adaptable.

Maybe that is the lesson…  if, indeed, there is one.  Acceptance and adaptability.  The “A” words…

Wish me luck…


Remember that movie, “Field of Dreams”??  I do.  I thought it was kind of dorky but sweet, and now I keep thinking about the relevance of the symbolism in that movie as it pertains to my current life situation(s).

“The main goal of this movie was to let people know to go for their dreams, even if they are way out there.”

Having faith and proceeding thusly.  In essence, seeing the end you desire, and letting the means roll out naturally in order to get where you want to go, however ‘out there” it may seem…

Perhaps this notion is kind of like, “The Secret”, but less hokey, for it’s about much more than just acquiring money or things.  I know what I want.  I’ve put it “out there”, and now I just need to get out of my own way and pay attention along the way so I don’t miss the signs on how to get where I want to be.

Lee and I recently had an opportunity to spend time with our friend, Amy, on a drive back from St. Louis.  We talked quite a bit about this theme, and though we come from different backgrounds (she is Catholic vs. our more esoteric bent), our belief in knowing that one can have dreams come true through magic, faith and trusting in the end result, were remarkably similar.  She is proof positive of this in her career success with Silpada, and practices what she preaches, indeed!  ~kudos, dear friend…  🙂 ~

I want to have my own salon some day where I can interact with groovy people while cutting hair, and share my artwork and my faces.  I see it so clearly, and I can’t wait to see how the journey unfolds as I make my way towards this dream.

The old Alison would be concerned with all the details on how to get “there”, and would fret incessantly about whether or not it would all work out.  This newer version of me is much more willing (most days!) to trust that the path will present itself as is required, and I’ll just keep on following it.  Starting school in September and having all those details fall into place, both literally and figuratively, is just the first step.

I believe.  I have faith for probably the first time in my life, and I’m on my way…

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