Being sick…

November 25, 2010

Nothing like a few days of feeling like the underside of crap to make one appreciate good health.  I’m lucky, for I rarely am sick, and this past stint was something like I had not experienced in years.  It’s always the same, however, being sick.  So otherworldly and surreal.

When I was younger and under the weather, I used to feel like the world just kept on moving without me.  School happened whether I was there or not, and the rest of my family members would still do their usual daily routines with or without me.  I felt isolated and strange (and yucky) in my netherworld of ‘otherness’.  Time seemed to stop.  I was in a bubble of feeling ill, and was all alone in that space, to boot.  How come everything didn’t halt because I was sick?  How could life continue on without my participation?  Weren’t my classmates missing my presence?  How could my family possible eat dinner without me??

Perhaps these feelings stem from the self-centeredness of being a child, but I found it kind of poignant to have similar thoughts this week while feeling so sick.  I missed my first day of class at Merrell, and I again had that feeling of being ‘left out’ of the normal routine of life.  I slept so much that time ceased to have any real meaning, and I felt alone and ‘out there’ in the landscape of jagged throats and clogged senses.  Being sick is no picnic on a physical level, yet it is also a weird little trip out of the ‘norm’ on a more psychic level.

Mostly what I feel today is better, and grateful for the reprieve from that other space of feeling so yucky.

Today I give hearty thanks to my body’s resilience and for feeling well enough to spend some time with my family.



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