A row of grown ups…

September 2, 2010

For a myriad of reasons, I’ve been thinking about the ‘younger me’ these past few days.  Somewhere in the eleven year old range, I would guess, and back to a time when life felt safe.  As I seem to be on a never-ending quest for a very personal sense of inner peace, I have been exploring the notion of feeling safe in a rather esoteric way.

When I was little, thanks to my parents in a large part, I did feel safe.  Safe in a literal sense, yet even more important in a way, safe to explore the world around, and the world inside…  Safe to be me…

A row of grown ups.  That’s what this knowing felt like…  As if a protective barrier of adults walked right behind me at all times, and because of this, I was free to explore the day.  Open and hopeful and joyful.   What did I want to BE??  What did I want to do??  Oh, the possibilities!!!

Now that I am the grown up, I find I miss that particular sense of security.  How can I be the row of grown ups for myself?  How do I tell myself in a way that I will believe, that it is safe to be the totality of me these days?  Especially in a world that repeatedly shows us otherwise?  A world that wants to mold us into just another cog in the machine?

I want that feeling of freedom and security from so long ago.  Perhaps real enlightenment these days is when you can be the grown up and yet retain the childlike sense of wonder and fearlessness we all had at one time.

I think it’s important to offer this sense of safety to ourselves.  It’s portable, it’s personal, and it’s “about time” for me…

Maybe if I turn my head at just the right moment; I’ll find that they are all still right behind me…

Little Me…

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One Response to “A row of grown ups…”

  1. Lynne said

    Yup, they’re there (physically or spiritually) — and there are even more grownups: your friends.

    xo, Lynne

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