Pinball Alley…

June 27, 2010

As I was making dinner just now, I was having one of those hypothetical conversations with myself.  I was pondering the fact that my mood today is lighter and less intense than yesterday, and wondering why that is…  There’s nothing different about today as it relates to yesterday, yet I am different.

This isn’t my first rodeo with this line of thinking, either.

So, I asked myself why some days I slip down the spidey hole and fail to get a good foothold out of my nonsense.

Typical to my artistic bent, I got a visual as an answer:  Pinball.  Yes, pinball.  I’ve never liked the game much for I am really bad at it, and it makes my heart race and my blood pressure rise.  I feel awkward and clumsy whilst playing.  So, I don’t play.

Apparently, though, it’s possible I play on other levels.  Perhaps I should hone those skills…

Given my limited knowledge and experience with the game, the visual I received was something like this:  I start out my day as that happy new ball ready to meet life’s experiences and as I sail through the initial burst of energy, I am also escaping potential pot holes that could send me down that hole where there is no way back into the game.  I can ping around and make the colored lights and sounds go wild as I bounce through the day, yet if I am unlucky enough to be catapulted from one of the bumpers straight into a hole…I’m a goner.

Ok, that’s probably waaay too dramatic and leaves me with no control over my thoughts and emotions, yet it does feel slightly analogous to what might happen on those days when I find myself in the hole.

I think I’ll have to redesign the silly game.  I’ll put safety nets in each of those out-of-the-game holes, and I’ll feel more free to ping around and make colors and lights without the fear of darkness.  I’ll make it so I win every time.  Yes, that sounds like a much more fun game.

I think I’d even put quarters in that one…

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